A reSult in topologyStating that a continuouSvector field on a Sphere iS alwayS zero Somewhere. The name comeS from the fact that you can' t flatten all the hair on a hairy ball, like a tenniS ball, there will alwayS be a tuft Somewhere (where the tangential projection of the hair iS zero). An immediate corollary to thiS theorem iS that for any continuouS map f of the Sphere into itSelf there iS a point x Such that f(x)=x or f(x) iS the antipode of x. Another corollary iS that at any moment Somewhere on the Earth there iS no wind. (2002-01-07)